


of all the weapons you fight with (your silence is the most violent)

by movingforthesakeofmotion



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: F/F, also there's a little bit of smut but it's nothing completely explicit, but still you've been warned, i wouldn't even count it as smut more like fooling around really, yo this is so much angst but i promise it has a happy ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-20
Updated: 2017-05-20
Packaged: 2018-11-02 21:30:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,051
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10953102
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/movingforthesakeofmotion/pseuds/movingforthesakeofmotion
Summary: The thing about firsts is that they always stay in the back of your mind.The first time Kimberly Hart kissed a girl, she was six years old and her best friend Rose had been the one to do it.The first time Trini Rodriguez kissed a girl, she was eleven years old and everything had changed with this one pivotal moment.AKA, the journey that leads Trini and Kimberly to discovering who they really are before they discover each other...and after they do.





	of all the weapons you fight with (your silence is the most violent)

**Author's Note:**

> fic title from "Tell Me How" by Paramore.
> 
> Hah, I don't think I'm ever gonna stop writing these two. There's just SO.MUCH.THERE.
> 
> Anyway, you know the drill! There's a lot of angst in this but it has a happy ending I promise! It's worth the 6,000 or so words of anger and confusion for the 2,000 or so words of happiness! Promise!

The first time Kimberly Hart kissed a girl, she was six years old and her best friend, Rose had been the one to do it.

They were playing dress up at Rose’s house when she had confessed that another boy in their grade, Mason, had kissed her. Rose had crinkled her nose, let out a long and loud sound of disgust and Kimberly had followed suite, because she was six, and if her best friend found something disgusting, so did she.

She was too young to know it back then, but truth be told, Kimberly didn’t enjoy kissing Mason. But society, even at that young an age, had made her feel obligated to like it, so she had smiled and taken his hand and paraded him around as her boyfriend in the weeks to follow. 

But on that day, way before she had declared Mason her boyfriend, she and Rose had been playing dress up and Rose had leaned in and kissed her. 

Kimberly made a comment about how Rose was much more fun to kiss, Rose had grinned and they’d gone on like nothing had happened. Rose had eventually moved away, and Kimberly and Mason didn’t end up working out. Big surprise.

Kimberly forgets Rose, forgets the kiss, continues to go through life and grows up.

The first time Trini Rodriguez kissed a girl, she was eleven years old, and everything had changed with this one pivotal moment.

Trini moves to a new town for the fourth time in a year, heart still raw and broken from leaving her friends from the previous town behind, and makes a promise to herself that this time, she won’t make attachments.

This time she won’t get her heart broken.

Trini walks into the school, catches the eye of a girl with bright red hair and the greenest eyes she’s ever seen, and they become best friends within three days.

Her name is Andrea, she smells like cocoa butter and lavender and has a smile that lights up any room she enters.

Four weeks after she moves to this new town and becomes best friends with Andrea, they’re in Trini’s room watching a movie and two girls share a kiss on screen. Andrea looks at Trini, touches her cheek, and when Trini turns to face her, she leans in and kisses her.

Andrea says it’s their little secret, Trini’s heart races at the idea of having a secret relationship and they end up secretly dating for three weeks, stealing kisses behind their parent’s backs and in the bathroom at school whenever all the stalls are empty.

Then Trini’s mother tells her she’s moving away again.

Trini screams and yells and kicks and throws things and begs them to change their minds.

Andrea holds her and cries and tells her she’ll send her a letter as soon as she arrives in her new town.

The letter never comes.

Trini cries for two weeks after arriving at her new temporary home, grows a tough skin, doesn’t talk and glares at anyone who attempts to talk to her.

The second time Kimberly Hart kissed a girl, she’s fifteen and playing spin the bottle at a party with all of her friends in a circle. When it’s her turn to spin, every single one of the guys leans in, faces filled with anticipation, and Kimberly can’t help the smug look that takes over her face when all the girls glare at her, jealous of the attention she commands.

The bottle lands on Isabel Browning, who cringes and shakes her head and tells her there’s no way she’s kissing her.

Kimberly shrugs, tells her it’s her loss when Mia Dumas suddenly raises her hand and says she’ll take one for the team. Kimberly grins, leans in and kisses her like it’s no big deal, and Mia’s face is bright red for the remainder of the game. 

In the weeks that follow, Kimberly catches Mia staring at her a lot, and she’s not the only one. Amanda Clark, someone who Kimberly has only just begun to call her best friend, notices as well.

“Okay, why does she keep staring at you? You don’t think she’s like, a lesbian who’s totally in love with you, do you? ‘Cause ew.” 

And because society still hasn’t taught her anything other than moving with the crowd, Kimberly wrinkles her nose in disgust and laughs, even though inside she’s kinda smiling at the idea that Mia is a lesbian who has a crush on her. 

And because Kimberly still hasn’t learned to be true to herself, and because Kimberly wants to keep her popularity, and because she’s vain and selfish and horrible, she does nothing to stop Amanda from torturing and abusing Mia, doesn’t lift a finger when she walks past Mia, who is staring at her locker with tears falling down her face because the word ‘dyke’ has been spray painted onto it, laughs with Amanda when she whispers in her ear that she’s the culprit. 

Mia moves away, just like Rose, and Kimberly feels horrible, but doesn’t say a word to anyone. Just like before, she forgets it and moves on.

The second time Trini kissed a girl, she’s sixteen and already in a relationship with someone else.

She’s been at this school for the better part of a year now, and she’d bonded with Daniel Sanders, a guy in her English class who is just as quiet as she is.

He asks her out, and she decides it wouldn’t hurt to try and see if boys are a thing for her.

When he kisses her for the first time, Trini feels nothing and decides then and there that boys are definitely not a thing for her.

But she dates him because she feels obligated to, because she’s still in the closet and this is the longest she’s ever spent in one town for a long time, and because maybe she’s going to stay here permanently and the last thing she wants is for the school or her parents to find out that she’s gay.

Someone who does find out, though, is Sarah Garner. 

The entire school gets invited to a party at the star quarterback’s house, and Trini is in the corner with Daniel, minding her own business when Sarah Garner, someone who Trini has only ever spoken to once, comes over to her and asks her if she can talk to her alone.

Daniel shrugs, Trini raises an eyebrow, but follows her into one of the bathrooms.

Trini stays cautious, prepared for what might be a hazing ritual when Sarah closes the door behind them, leans in and kisses her.

Trini pushes her off, more out of shock than anything, and Sarah smiles and shakes her head.

“I knew the second you came to the school you were like me, Trini. Don’t hide it anymore. There’s nothing wrong with being true to yourself.” 

Trini stares at her, bites her trembling lip, can’t stop the tears that fall, and Sarah brushes them away gently before kissing her again.

And Trini groans and kisses her back fiercely, because when Daniel kisses her, she feels nothing.

But when Sarah kisses her, she comes to life.

She breaks it off with Daniel the next day, finds Sarah in the hallway and smiles at her, and when Sarah smiles back, her heart pounds and her face turns red. 

And then, before she even has a chance to get things started with Sarah, her mother tells her they’re moving again. 

She doesn’t get a chance to say goodbye.

They move in less than two days, and Trini gets a Facebook message from Sarah on their way to their new home.

_Just remember: stay true to who you are._

Trini checks her Facebook one night a year later and finds a memorial page dedicated to Sarah on Facebook with links to suicide hotlines.

Trini stares at it numbly for hours before she signs off and doesn’t log back in for a week.

The third time both Trini Rodriguez and Kimberly Hart kiss a girl, it’s a million different things. It’s the most beautiful, the most real, the most terrifying, and the most heartbreaking thing they’ve ever felt in their lives. 

Kimberly comes to term with her bisexuality when she begins dating Ty Ashford just before the end of her second last year of high school and finds she actually enjoys it. 

She comes to terms with it, but doesn’t tell anyone, because Amanda tortured Mia for being gay, and Kimberly kinda doesn’t want that for herself.

So she keeps it to herself and dates Ty over the summer and they become the power couple of Angel Grove High when their last year of high school begins and she becomes captain of the cheerleading team. For three months, Kimberly enjoys the look of fear that crosses people’s faces when they see her, enjoys the power trip of her and her friends becoming the girls you don’t fuck with, and enjoys the feeling of being on top of the world.

She doesn’t recognize herself in the girl she sees in the mirror, head cheerleader with the perfect boyfriend, and the perfect hair that everyone hates to love and loves to hate, but she swallows down her disappointment and tells herself that this will be good for her in the long run.

It isn’t.

Kimberly’s eighteenth birthday comes around after the Christmas holidays, and Amanda organizes a big party, and Kimberly thinks everything is perfect in her life. And then she finds Ty making out with Amanda at her own fucking birthday party, spends the rest of it crying in her room, goes to school the next day and punches Ty in the face so hard, his tooth comes out (they put it back). She gets sentenced to spending every Saturday in detention until she graduates, gets pissed because she’s not the one who did anything wrong here, gets the incredibly cruel idea to send a private picture Amanda had shared with her a long time ago to Ty, asking him if the kind of girl who shares naked photos of herself is the kind of girl he wants to be with.

The photos somehow get leaked to the entire school, but no one finds out they came from Kimberly, so she harbors her guilt in silence.

Until she gets cornered in the bathroom during her second week of detention and Amanda tells her she knows it was her.

Friendship over.

Kimberly’s always been an impulsive person, so when Rebecca stabs the photo of her face into the wall with scissors and walks away with Amanda, Kimberly grabs the scissors and chops all her hair off because why not. 

When she looks at herself in the mirror with her hair up to her shoulders, she sees herself for the first time in a long time.

She leaves with a grin, ignores the people wolf whistling and cheering, and doesn’t say a word the entire time she’s in detention.

When Trini Rodriguez moves to Angel Grove in her second last year of high school, the first thing she notices is that Angel Grove High School is purgatory on Earth.

The entire school is filled with stereotypes, and Trini hates every single one of them.

She hates the loud football players, the bitchy cheerleaders (even if the head cheerleader is the hottest girl she’s ever laid eyes on), and hates the annoying teachers even more.

She waits for the day her parents tell her they’ll moving again, but they don’t for a full year and Trini thinks maybe they’re sticking around this time.

But still, she doesn’t talk to anyone, doesn’t make friends, starts her last year of high school alone, hates when Christmas comes around, hates when it ends, spends her eighteenth birthday alone, and stays in the back row of every class she’s in.

She minds her own business even when the school implodes when two major power shifts happen.

Head cheerleader becomes ex-head cheerleader and star quarterback becomes ex-star quarterback in two separate incidents. 

Trini goes about her routine, meditates at sunset at the cliff she found two months ago after she moved to Angel Grove and minds her own damn business.

Until fate decides it would be funny to have the cliff she meditates on collapse under her one night.

A few weeks before, she notices Zack Taylor, a kid she’s seen a handful of times at school since she moved to Angel Grove a year ago, watching her meditate from the bottom of the cliff. She ignored him and continued on as if she couldn’t see him.

One day, she hears an explosion near the cliff, runs toward it and finds three other people are with Zack, all of them yelling at each other about what she guesses is the explosion they’ve caused. She tells them all to get lost, because they’re technically in a restricted area and the last thing she wants is for all of them to get caught and banned from the area indefinitely.

This is her damn meditation spot and she’s not losing it because some losers decided to get drunk and break the rules. 

And then the cliff collapses.

She falls, scraps her knee, cries out in pain and glares up at Zack, ready to kick his ass when she notices him staring at the broken part of the cliff in confusion.

Trini notices the ex-star quarterback, Jason, she’s pretty sure his name is, and the ex-head cheerleader, Kimberly Hart (because of course she knows her name) are there as well, and so is Billy, the one kid she does know because everyone always talks about him behind his back at school because they think he’s weird.

They find the power coins, the ship, discover they’re Power Rangers, and are thrown together in what Trini can only call a complete twist of fate.

She doesn’t even have time to think about what the hell her life has become, a mixture of training and learning how to fight and spending every waking moment with four people who were complete strangers to her only two weeks ago when Rita Repulsa attacks her in her room and leaves her with mental and physical scars.

She tries to fight. She really does.

Fighting Rita is like fighting an immovable object.

Useless and spirit breaking. 

Rita traps them all, kills Billy, Zordon brings him back, they defeat Rita, save the Universe and life goes on.

Life goes on, but it also doesn’t.

None of the others notice it but Kimberly does.

Kimberly does because she notices Trini.

When Trini asks them to meet up with her and shows them the marks that Rita ripped into her skin, an anger unlike anything she’s ever felt rips through Kimberly.

When they win the fight and save the Universe, Kimberly celebrates with the others and notices when Trini doesn’t.

Kimberly becomes protective over the other four, particularly Billy and Trini, because Billy died and he’s not handling it so well, but Zack and Jason have him covered and Trini...well, Trini has Kimberly. Because Trini is small and pocket sized but was willing to fight a woman hell bent on murdering all of them to keep them safe and Kimberly vows to protect her no matter what because of it.

She always hovers nearby, fingers always on some part of Trini, her wrist, the small of her back, the point of her elbow, anywhere Kimberly can reach, really.

The five of them stick together at school, ignore the stares and whispers and Billy raises the point that someone might connect the dots and figure out they’re the Power Rangers because they pretty much all became friends out of nowhere.

It doesn’t help that they’re not particularly keeping a low profile about it either, with the way they always seem to wear their Ranger colors without even meaning to.

Kimberly shrugs when Billy mentions it, but looks at Trini, who stares at the wall ahead of them blankly.

She’s been quiet since the fight, not talking to any of them, retreating into herself like she did before they became Rangers, and Kimberly’s worried.

She had bonded the most with Trini during those fourteen days of training, and she doesn’t want to lose that bond.

So she sneaks out of her house one night a week after defeating Rita and goes over to Trini’s, jumps onto the little roof above the living room next to her window and sees her sitting on her bed, hugging her knees and staring blankly at the wall again.

Kimberly sighs and knocks on the window.

Trini jumps and looks up in shock, raises an eyebrow, but walks over and opens it for her.

“I figured you might wanna talk.” Kimberly says.

Trini stares at her blankly, then walks back to her bed and goes back to how she was sitting while Kimberly climbs through and watches her intently.

“Even if you don’t wanna talk, that’s fine, just...I don’t know, misery loves company?” 

That causes Trini to smile slightly, and Kimberly grins.

Trini still doesn’t talk, and it breaks Kimberly’s heart to watch her suffer, but considers it progress when, after two hours of silence and staring at the wall, she reaches out and grabs Kimberly’s hand and squeezes it.

They fall asleep eventually, and when Kimberly wakes up, Trini is clutching onto her sweater, fast asleep against her chest.

Her heart races, but she ignores it and smiles, presses a kiss to Trini’s hair and waits for her to wake up on her own.

The next night, Kimberly climbs through her window again, sits beside her without a word and holds her hand, and again, wakes up in Trini’s bed with Trini fast asleep against her.

The next day, Trini finally looks at her with tear filled eyes, bottom lip clenched between her teeth before she takes a deep breath.

“I’m scared.” She whispers.

“Of what?” Kimberly whispers back.

“I close my eyes and she’s there. Rita. I can’t...I feel like she’s everywhere I am, watching me all the time. I look in the mirror and I see the scars and she’s there. I fall asleep and she’s there. She chose me because I was the weakest, because I-I am the weakest.” 

Kimberly grips her hand.

Says two words.

“I’m sorry.”

Trini looks at her, breathes a sigh of relief and closes her eyes, letting her tears fall freely.

“Thank you.”

“For?”

“Not spouting a bunch of bullshit about how I’m not weak and how I’m so strong.” She says, chuckling. Kimberly smiles.

“I know that’s not what you want to hear.”

“It’s not.” 

“It’s true, though. You are strong. But it’s okay to feel weak sometimes.” 

“Do you feel weak?”

“All the time.”

They fall back into silence after that, but this time, when they both go to bed, Trini grabs Kimberly’s hand and wraps it around her waist, and Kimberly smiles and presses her face to Trini’s back before falling asleep.

It’s nice. Comfortable. Familiar.

But Trini fucks it all up because of course she does.

Kimberly and Trini alternate between sleeping at each other’s places every night after their conversation that night, and on the nights when Kimberly is shaking her to wake her up because Trini is twitching and whining in her sleep, Kimberly holds her trembling, sweat drenched body close, cooing gently as Trini cries into her shoulder. 

Except one night, when Kimberly does what she usually does and shakes Trini to wake her up, then holds her and comforts her as soon as she’s conscious, Trini looks up at her in the darkness and reaches up with one hand to brush Kimberly’s cheek with her thumb.

“She killed you. In my dream she killed you.” She whispers, and the image is so vivid in her mind that she’s crying before she can stop herself. Kimberly holds her hand in place and smiles.

“I’m right her, Trin. I’m not leaving. I promise.” She whispers.

She moves back, dragging Trini along with her and Trini rests her head on Kimberly’s chest, and they’re both silent for a while before something in Trini shifts and her body is moving on its own.

Kimberly looks down at her, and Trini can’t see her expression in the darkness, but she grips Kimberly’s sweater to pull herself up and before she can think, Trini kisses her.

Goosebumps erupt on her skin the second their lips meet, and Trini feels Kimberly wrap an arm around her body, pulling her up to bring her closer until Trini is practically lying on top of her, and she’s kissing her back, Trini can feel her lips moving against hers hungrily, a soft moan escaping her and Trini’s trembling fingers move to the hem of her shirt, trailing under it and touching the heated skin of Kimberly’s stomach-

Kimberly freezes against her lips and pulls away with a soft sigh.

“Stop.” She whispers. Trini freezes against her, heart pounding in her ears and her mind racing as she pants breathlessly against Kimberly, who is still for a long time, and Trini wishes she could see her face, wishes it wasn’t so dark-

“I have to go.” And just like that, Kimberly grips Trini’s wrist and eases out from under her. Trini can’t move, can’t think, can’t breathe, barely manages to get Kimberly’s name out, but she’s already out of the window and gone by the time she does. 

When she sees Kimberly at school the next day, Kimberly doesn’t talk to her, strikes up conversation with Jason in a flirtatious manner and Trini’s heart breaks into small pieces.

She goes back to glaring and not talking, and when Zack asks her what’s wrong, she punches him in the face.

His nose bleeds a little, but it shuts him up, so she doesn’t care.

A week after their kiss, Trini and Kimberly find themselves alone in the center of the ship when the boys run to the Pit at top speed to fight against each other.

Kimberly avoids her gaze and Trini crosses her arms over her chest and tries not to let her anger get the better of her.

They’re silent for a total of thirty seconds, Trini’s heart pounding louder with each second that passes.

“Kim...” It escapes her before she can stop it, a soft whine that makes her sound weak and pathetic and she fucking hates it. Kimberly closes her eyes at the sound, a tear falling down her cheek before she finally looks up at Trini, her expression unreadable. Then she sighs and makes her way to the Pit in silence.

Trini bites back a sob, gives herself a minute to compose herself before she wipes her tears away and follows after her. 

Two weeks pass in silent moments between the both of them, and each moment cuts Trini deeper and deeper.

Jason tells her one day that he thinks Kimberly might be into him. Trini laughs harshly and tells him they’d make the perfect couple and she doesn’t mean to sound sarcastic, but the hurt look in Jason’s eyes tells her it’s come across that way.

She feels guilty for about two seconds before Kimberly pops up, smiles at him and makes her way over to him and her guilt is replaced with anger.

She excuses herself and walks away before Kimberly even gets close to them, and Jason watches her go with a frown. 

She’s in the cafeteria one day with Billy, waiting for the others when he looks at her with a frown and reaches out to tap her forearm.

“Hey, what’s going on with you and Kimberly? You’re acting weird around each other.”

Her hand closes into a fist, and she’s about to strike, but it’s Billy. Poor, sweet, innocent Billy and she can’t hit him. 

Zack’s annoying, hitting him is written in her job description.

But no, she can’t hit Billy.

So instead, she pounds her fist into the metal table beneath her, feels it dent under her skin, then ignores the stares of the people around her and glares with her jaw clenched as Kimberly walks in with Jason, laughing and smiling as if everything’s fine.

“Nothing, Billy. Nothing at all.” 

Finally, Trini decides she’s had enough one night and sneaks out, makes her way over to Kimberly’s, sees Jason’s shit box of a car in the driveway, realizes it’s almost midnight and he must be sleeping over, then walks back to her place, numb and completely at a loss.

She cries into her pillow that night and doesn’t sleep a wink.

At training the next day, Trini gets paired with Jason.

She knocks him out with one punch and watches his body fall to the ground, decides he hasn’t had enough and is about to get another one in when Zack grabs her and drags her off him.

“Trini, what the fuck?”

She pushes Zack off her and walks away from the Pit, doesn’t hear the footsteps behind her until she reaches the center of the ship and hears her voice.

“What the fuck was that about?” Trini freezes, digs her fingers into her palms to stop herself from hitting something, and turns around with teeth bared and fury rushing through her.

“Oh, so that’s what it takes, huh? Me knocking your precious boyfriend out for you to finally talk to me?” 

Kimberly crosses her arms over her chest and glares at her.

“Jason’s not my boyfriend.” 

She really thinks Trini’s stupid.

“Fuck you.” She grabs her bag, goes to leave the ship, but Kimberly runs forward and blocks the exit.

“He’s not!”

“I don’t really fucking care. Get out of my way.” 

“Trin, stop-.”

“Get out of my way, or you’ll go the same way as him.” A hint of anger flashes in Kimberly’s eyes and she looks at Trini with wide eyes.

“Did you just threaten me?”

“No, I told you what would happen if you don’t move in the next five seconds. There’s a difference.” 

They’re silent.

Four seconds pass.

Kimberly lunges forward and kisses her. 

It’s heated, all teeth and tongue and Trini’s head is about to explode when Kimberly’s tongue brushes across her lower lip and before she can do anything, Kimberly pulls away and rests her forehead against Trini’s breathlessly.

“Jason’s not my boyfriend.” She whispers.

Trini pulls away.

Then she punches her in the face.

It doesn’t knock her out, but she falls back, landing on her backside with a thud, shock written all over her face before she shakes it off and looks up at Trini with wide eyes.

She spits out blood, and Trini can’t help but grin nastily before moving past her and making her way off the ship. 

Trini thinks Kimberly’s gotten the message.

Apparently not.

She hears a tap on her window that night at two in the morning (not that she’s asleep anyway) and looks up to see Kimberly looking at her somberly.

Trini makes her way over, and Kimberly makes a motion for her to pull the window up.

Trini grabs the rope beside it, pulls it and lets the curtain fall down and over the window. 

Jason pulls Trini aside the next day at school, tells her he’s sorry if he upset her, and Trini feels a rush of guilt course through her.

She mumbles out an apology and Jason shakes his head and tells her it’s okay.

“Have I done something, though? To upset you?” 

Trini wants to tell him.

Instead she shakes her head and forces a smile.

“No, you haven’t. I promise.” He lets out a sigh of relief, then smiles at her.

“Hey, you wanna grab donuts after school? They finally finished rebuilding Krispy Kreme, and I feel like we should support their grand re-opening considering we’re responsible for it being destroyed.” 

“Just you and me?” Trini asks. Jason frowns at that.

“No, the others as well.” Trini’s expression turns stony, and she shrugs.

“Whatever.” Jason doesn’t push the matter.

“Uh, great. I’ve just gotta pick my car up from Kimberly’s place, the stupid thing wouldn’t start when I was at her place studying the other night, so her dad gave me a lift home and told me he’d look at it for me.” 

Trini freezes.

“What?” She whispers. Jason rolls his eyes.

“Yeah, I know. The thing’s a piece of shit, but dad’s still punishing me for fucking up my other car, so it’ll have to make do.” 

Trini closes her eyes, feels like the biggest idiot on planet Earth, and looks at Jason with a sigh.

“Jase, I really am sorry. For knocking you out.” He’s surprised at the topic change, but smiles and shrugs.

“It’s okay. It healed in no time. You’ve got a mean hook by the way.” She smiles, and when they reach the cafeteria, they see Kimberly and Zack waiting for them, both of them talking in hushed tones. Jason sighs beside her and Trini looks at him. He smiles awkwardly at her.

“You know how I told you Kimberly might be into me?” Trini nods and Jason ruffles the back of his head with an embarrassed chuckle.

“Yeah, uh turns out I was dead wrong. When we were studying the other night, she said that Zack, Billy and I were like brothers to her. Total buzzkill. So uh, maybe don’t mention it to her, okay?” 

Trini grins widely.

“Sure thing, Jason.” 

When Kimberly comes over that night and taps on her window, Trini stares at her for a good two minutes before walking over. Kimberly watches her sadly, expecting her to shut the curtain on her again.

Instead, Trini leans down and unlocks the latch and opens it.

Kimberly’s eyes light up and she stares at her before biting her bottom lip in hesitation.

“Hi.” She says eventually. Trini doesn’t reply, moves back to her bed instead and listens as Kimberly climbs through the window.

“Trini-.”

“I fucked up. I know. Jason isn’t your boyfriend and I misread things. And I’m sorry for that. But that doesn’t erase the fact that you’ve been ignoring me for two weeks.” When she turns, Kimberly’s hands are shoved into her pockets and she’s not looking at her. 

Once again, they’ve fallen into silence.

Trini sighs and sits down on her bed, her patience running thin and when Kimberly still doesn’t talk, she rolls her eyes.

“I’m done with the silence, Kimberly. Either talk or stop wasting my time and leave.” 

Kimberly looks up at her, and Trini isn’t expecting the look on her face.

It’s angry.

“Do you think I want to be silent? I want to tell you everything I’m feeling but I just...I can’t get the words out, okay?” 

She’s yelling, and her eyes widen and she covers her mouth in shock, but Trini waves her hand nonchalantly because her parents are staying at her grandmother’s place this weekend with the boys.

“They’re not here. They’re staying with my grandmother the whole weekend.”

“Why didn’t you go with them?”

“Wasn’t in the mood so I faked being sick.” She says with a shrug. Kimberly chuckles, but Trini shakes her head.

“Don’t change the subject, why can’t you just talk to me?” 

“I don’t know, I...fuck, I don’t know!” Kimberly’s pacing now, wringing her hands and Trini watches her before finally standing and gripping her shoulders to stop her.

“Kimberly, talk to me.” Her words are firm, but there’s a softness to them that makes Kimberly sigh and stare at her with tear filled eyes, and she bites down on her lip before shaking her head.

“I’m sorry. I just...I panicked. When we kissed, I...I panicked.” 

“The first time or the second time?” Trini says, raising an eyebrow. Kimberly rolls her eyes.

“What do you think? The first time. I just...I’ve kissed girls before and every time I have, I’ve felt this attraction, the same kind of attraction I’d get when I would kiss Ty, and I came to terms with the fact that I’m bisexual a long time ago, Trin. But...I have never, never felt what I felt when I kissed you before. And it scared me. I’m sorry that I did that and I’m sorry I didn’t say anything or talk to you but I just...fuck, I watched a girl who was a lesbian at our school get chased out of town, and the thought of someone finding out that I liked girls...I thought about getting chased out of town just like she did, and I thought to myself, ‘I can handle that’ but then...but then I thought about you getting chased out of town, and I thought about people finding out about us, about your parents finding out and you leaving because of it and I couldn’t handle it, I just couldn’t. So I ran. I ran and I shouldn’t have but I did and I’m sorry, okay? I’m so sorry.” 

She’s crying, tears falling down her face and Trini blinks back her own tears, bites down on her lip and hesitates before moving her hands down Kimberly’s shoulders to grip her hands in her own.

“There was this girl...a few years back. Her name was Sarah and she helped me realize some things. I was dating this guy, his name was Daniel...he was just as quiet as I was. I figured if I dated him, maybe people would think I wasn’t as weird as they thought, and maybe I could fit in just a little bit. But Sarah...she saw right through me. I was at this party with Daniel and she asked if she could talk to me. As soon as we were alone, she kissed me. She told me to stop hiding from myself, and that I needed to be true to who I was. I broke it off with Daniel, and I had every intention of starting something with her, but then we were moving. A year later, she was dead. She killed herself. I don’t know why, just know that she did. When I saw that, something inside me told me that I should honor her by doing what she told me to do. By being true to myself, by not denying my sexuality anymore, but every time I see my parents, and see how worried they are about me, about how they can’t talk to me because I’m so withdrawn...it stops me from being true to myself again.” 

Kimberly leans down, rests her forehead against Trini’s and brings her hands up to wipe her tears away. Trini smiles and looks up at her, so close that she can almost count Kimberly’s eyelashes...

“I’m tired, Kimberly. I’m tired of faking it, I’m tired of listening to my parents whine because I’m different, I’m tired of hiding the truth from them, and I’m tired of caring about what other people think about me.” 

Kimberly’s bottom lip trembles and Trini brushes it with her thumb gently.

“Aren’t you tired, Kim?” She whispers. Kimberly lets out a sob and nods against her forehead.

“I’m fucking exhausted.” She gasps out, and then she’s kissing her, and every cell in Trini’s body comes to life, electrifying her, and when Kimberly deepens the kiss, she pushes them back until Trini’s knees hit the side of her bed and she collapses against it. Kimberly lands on top of her and doesn’t move, brushes her tongue across Trini’s lips before sliding it into her mouth, her hands trailing underneath Trini’s shirt to touch the skin of her ribs and Trini whines against her, tears falling before she can stop them because she’s been wanting this for a month now, ever since that first kiss gave her a taste of what this feels like, to have every cell in your body pulsating, exploding into colors and sounds that can’t be seen or heard-

“Trin.” Kimberly pulls away, and Trini smiles, touches her cheek and moves so she’s sitting up, Kimberly still straddling her.

“Wanna watch Netflix?” She asks. Kimberly raises an eyebrow.

“Are you asking me to Netflix and Chill?” Trini laughs loudly and shakes her head.

“No, there’s this show I’m watching, we can watch it together, come on.”

They cuddle up under the blankets, and Trini explains to Kimberly what’s happened on the show so far, Kimberly listening to her every word intently as Trini turns the show on.  
They get halfway through the episode when it gets to a part where a character is talking to another character about the fact that his boyfriend has broken up with him because he refuses to be open about being gay in fear that it will ruin his reputation. The other character, a trans woman, tells him about her childhood, suffering abuse at the hands of people who didn’t understand her and Trini and Kimberly are both a sobbing mess by the time she finishes.

And then she says something that makes Trini’s heart swell a thousand times in size.

“‘Their violence was petty and ignorant but ultimately it was true to who they were. The real violence, the violence that is unforgivable, is the violence that we do to ourselves when we’re too afraid to be who we really are.”’

Kimberly presses pause on the video, and Trini looks up at her. She’s silent for a long time, staring at the screen and then she closes her eyes, the tears clinging to her eyelashes falling.

“She’s right.” She whispers. Trini nods against her chest, clings to her and Kimberly falls back against the pillows, stroking down Trini’s back as she laughs to herself. 

“She’s right.” She whispers again.

They fall asleep before they can finish the episode.

The next day in detention, Kimberly keeps replaying those words from the show in her head, and she reaches out and grips Trini’s hand in her own and doesn’t let it go as they make their way down the stairs. 

People stare.

Kimberly doesn’t let go.

She only cares about one thing, and that’s the reaction of the three people who matter to her most other than Trini.

When Zack, Billy and Jason look down at their intertwined hands, Jason grins and hugs them both tightly, and Billy looks at them in confusion. 

“Are you two dating?” He asks. Trini laughs and nods, and Kimberly grins.

“Yeah, Billy. We’re dating.” He grins and claps his hands excitedly, and Zack ruffles Trini’s hair and laughs, saying he knew all along there was something going on between them.

“Sure, Zack.” Trini says with a roll of her eyes.

They go to training afterwards, and when they call it a day three hours later, full of adrenaline and endorphins, Trini is staring at her ravenously and Kimberly is pretty sure her expression is just as hungry.

As soon as they get back to Trini’s house, Kimberly slams her against the door and kisses her fiercely. They somehow manage to make it back to Trini’s room, and Kimberly practically shoves her down onto the bed before climbing on top of her.

“Trini...” Kimberly’s voice is soft, breathless, and she moves her lips down to Trini’s neck, sucking her pulse point between her teeth and Trini’s back arches off the bed, a soft moan escaping her as Kimberly’s lips move down to her collarbone, her nails scratching lines down Trini’s stomach when Trini’s nails dig into her lower back. 

“Trin, I think-we should stop-before this goes-too far-.” Kimberly says breathlessly between kisses to her collarbone, her body moving lower and lower before she can stop herself and she can feel Trini nod once, but Kimberly bites her bottom lip between her teeth, really doesn’t want to stop-

“We should.” Trini manages to gasp out.

“We should.” Kimberly says, but she’s kissing over Trini’s chest now and Trini’s squirming beneath her, and Kimberly can feel how hot her skin is as she interlaces their fingers and moves Trini’s hands above her head, pinning them there as she moves back down to her neck-

Trini’s phone starts ringing and she groans underneath Kimberly, and a shiver runs up her spine at the sound. Kimberly moves up, her lips at Trini’s ear as she applies more pressure to Trini’s hands to make sure they stay pinned above her.

“Ignore it.” She hisses, and then she bites down on Trini’s earlobe and the cry that escapes Trini is almost animalistic, and Kimberly laughs into her ear lightly.

“Looks like I found your weakness.” She purrs, and Trini’s eyes roll back when Kimberly presses a kiss just beneath her ear before taking her earlobe between her teeth again.

Trini tries to move, but her hands are being pressed down into the mattress and Kimberly doesn’t let up for a second but it’s driving her crazy to feel Trini squirming beneath her-  
Her phone starts ringing again.

“Ugh, fuck off!” Trini growls, and Kimberly laughs before she suddenly lets Trini go and takes her weight off her.

“You should answer it, it might be serious.” 

“It’s not.” Trini hisses, and she surges up and wraps a hand around the back of Kimberly’s neck, dragging her back down for a searing kiss and Kimberly groans against her before pulling away again, shaking her head.

“Nuh uh, I’m not kissing you again until you answer your phone.” Trini glares up at her, then reaches under her pillow for her phone and answers it without looking at the caller ID.

“What?” She growls.

“That’s no way to answer your mother, young lady!” Trini rolls her eyes.

“Sorry. What, mom?” She says. Kimberly stifles a laugh as Trini’s mother huffs.

“I just wanted to check on you.” Kimberly hears her mother say.

“I’m fine. I’m just cranky because I’ve been vomiting all day.” Trini says, winking up at Kimberly, who grins widely and suddenly moves her hands under Trini’s shirt to touch her ribs gently. Trini shudders and closes her eyes, and Kimberly grins, suddenly struck with an idea.

“If you don’t get better by tomorrow, go see a doctor, hija.” Kimberly suddenly lifts Trini’s shirt up to her chest and ducks down, and when her lips press down against Trini’s ribs, she feels Trini tense underneath her.

“I will, I promise.” She whines, and Kimberly grins against her skin.

“Are you sure you’re okay, Trini?” Kimberly bites down harshly before her tongue swipes past the wound she’s created and Trini groans loudly above her.

“F-Fine!”

“How was detention?” Trini groans again when Kimberly sucks the skin on her ribs into her mouth and Kimberly looks up at her to see her biting down on her bottom lip so hard, she almost draws blood.

“Actually mom, I feel a-another vomit attack c-coming, I have to go, b-bye!” 

She hits the end call button so hard, her entire screen shatters.

She whines and throws it under her pillow, a little too harshly, because it embeds itself into the headboard and she grips the blankets beneath her body between her fists, biting down on her lower lip again to stop her cries as Kimberly looks up at her with a wicked grin.

“Looks like I found another weakness.” She teases.

“When am I gonna get a chance to find your w-weaknesses, huh?” Trini breathes, and Kimberly chuckles against the skin on her stomach before lifting her shirt up and over her head.

“When I’m done having my way with you.” She says, her eyes drinking in Trini half naked underneath her. 

She runs her fingers over Trini’s tanned skin, and she can’t believe how lucky she is to have her.

“Jesus, you’re unreal.” Kimberly whispers, looking into her eyes in disbelief. Trini rolls her eyes.

“Shut up.”

“I’m being serious.” Kimberly hooks her finger under one of the straps of Trini’s bra and pushes it down past her shoulder, leaning down to kiss the exposed skin gently before she moves her way down, leaving open mouthed kisses down Trini’s stomach. 

She wants this so badly...

But she needs to be sure Trini wants this, too.

“I want this, Trin. But I don’t want to pressure you.” She whispers. Trini laughs breathlessly, collapsing back down on the bed and resting a hand on her sweaty forehead.

“God, you’re fucking perfect, aren’t you?” She breaths out. Kimberly laughs.

“Hardly. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to. I know what that feels like and it sucks.” She says gently. Trini raises an eyebrow and Kimberly sighs.

“It’s a long story that involves Ty and peer pressure. If I could take it back, I would.” She deadpans. Trini sighs and runs a hand through Kimberly’s hair gently.

“I’ve never gone this far with anyone before. I said I wouldn’t before I turned eighteen. But it feels right.” She whispers. Kimberly smiles, but shakes her head.

“We can wait until you’re eighteen, Trin. I don’t mind.” Trini laughs.

“Kimberly, I turned eighteen in the beginning of the year.” Kimberly’s eyes widen.

“You did?” Trini laughs again and nods.

“I did. And so did you. A week before me.” Kimberly raises an eyebrow.

“How do you know that?”

“Because Amanda wouldn’t shut up about your party, which I was never invited to, by the way. Rude.” Kimberly groans and kisses her.

“Sorry.”

“Don’t be. We didn’t know each other back then.” She whispers. Kimberly sighs, then smiles.

“Our birthdays are only a week apart?” Trini groans and shakes her head.

“Can we maybe go back to the point I was making, that we’re both of age and that this is consensual and that we both really, really want this?” 

Kimberly hums in agreement.

“Good, you should keep going then, or I’ll do it myself. I’m pretty good at doing that.” Kimberly groans at the mental image that fills her mind and rests her forehead against Trini’s stomach.

“You’re killing me.” She whines. Trini laughs and runs her fingers through Kimberly’s hair again before tugging on it slightly.

“You’re killing me. Now shut up and put those fingers of yours to use. Or your tongue. That would be something new.” 

That effectively shuts Kimberly up.

Hours later, when they both collapse on Trini’s bed, completely exhausted, but still in a state of euphoria, Kimberly notices the bruises all over Trini’s collarbones and her ribs, and she bites her lip and mumbles out an apology, burying her head in Trini’s shoulder out of embarrassment, but Trini just laughs and runs her fingers through her hair.

“You should see your own skin, Princess. We both got what we gave in return.” 

“At least they’ll fade in a few hours. Perks of being a Ranger.” Kimberly says, grinning widely against the skin of Trini’s neck.

“Yeah. That’s a definite Pro against many, many Cons. Getting to hide the rough sex we have against being chased and attacked by aliens and risking our lives all the time.” Trini grumbles. Kimberly’s fingers run over the light scars on Trini’s neck from Rita’s attack and Trini holds her closer, shivering slightly at her touch.

Kimberly remembers the panic that swept through her the first time she saw those marks, bloody and red from Rita digging her nails into Trini’s skin.

Her Trini.

Beautiful, innocent Trini, who Kimberly cares about more than she cares about herself.

“Trin?”

“Yeah?”

“I love you.” Trini looks down at her, shock written in her eyes, and Kimberly leans up and presses a gentle kiss to the corner of her mouth.

“You don’t have to say it back, it’s just how I feel-.”

“I love you, too.” 

Kimberly’s heart damn near swells to the size of a basketball.

“Yeah?” 

A smile.

“Yeah.”

Kimberly smiles and when Trini leans in and rests her head against her chest, she wraps her arms around her and kisses her hair, forgets about everything else that doesn’t exist outside of this room, outside of this moment.

They’ve both lost count at this point, but for both of them it doesn’t matter.

Because for both of them, the fourth time they kiss a girl, it’s the last time, but also the first time of many.

And neither of them have a problem with that.

**Author's Note:**

> The TV show referenced, the one where says "The violence we do to ourselves", is from a show on Netflix called Sense8 that you should watch IMMEDIATELY because it's amazing.
> 
> Hope you guys enjoyed this fic! Please leave a comment, they make my day <3


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